


The Son of God by Name

by Ancient_K



Series: Good Tidings of Comfort and Joy. [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky never goes back in cryo, Chronic Illness, Guilt, Injury Recovery, M/M, On the Run, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sickfic, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23192584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ancient_K/pseuds/Ancient_K
Summary: “Steve Rogers - Patriot or War Criminal?” The magazine cover read. The front showed an old drawing of him back during the war. The only difference was there was a red line slashed over his eyes. It looked like he was dead or as if somebody had defaced a portrait.He bought the magazine.When he gets back to the motel room that they’d been hiding out in Buck’s still in bed. It shouldn’t surprise him, he’s hardly moved since they had arrived. His head was peeking out from a cluster of blankets, dark hair hidden by the grey hood of a sweatshirt.Captain America on the run.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Good Tidings of Comfort and Joy. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667395
Kudos: 40





	The Son of God by Name

**Author's Note:**

> Life got hard so I decided to try and make myself feel better by writing. I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> Title: from the song God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

“Steve Rogers - Patriot or War Criminal?” The magazine cover read. The front showed an old drawing of him back during the war. The only difference was there was a red line slashed over his eyes. It looked like he was dead or as if somebody had defaced a portrait.

He knew that the exact moment he refused to sign The Accords was the moment he was declared an enemy of the UN and therefore the United States. The nation wide sign of patriotism had turned into a national traitor. Senator Brandt probably would’ve died right then and there had he been alive to see it.

Surely all the museums have changed. Perhaps there’s a big placard up in the Smithsonian that declares him an enemy of the state. There was already one up for Bucky. 

He bought the magazine. 

When he gets back to the motel room that they’d been hiding out in Buck’s still in bed. It shouldn’t surprise him, he’s hardly moved since they had arrived. His head was peeking out from a cluster of blankets, dark hair hidden by the grey hood of a sweatshirt.

The wounds on his side aren’t healing. Sam’s a better medic than Steve gives him credit for but the burn on Bucky’s ribs is still causing him pain and weeping fluids into the bandages. The place were metal meets flesh is infected, skin swollen and pulsing with heat. This shouldn’t be happening. Steve knows that Bucky's version of the serum is weaker but he thought a week of rest would bring more improvement. There are butterfly bandages on his cheek.

Buck blinks sleepily when Steve walks in. Curls of brown hair stick to his sweaty forehead. The dark circles under his eyes only accentuate his hollow cheeks. Ever since he came back Buck had struggled with food. The number of Pedialyte bottles and antacids that Steve buys from the local grocery store have gotten him some weird looks. Now that he was hurt it seemed ten times worse. The little metal trash can by their bed had gotten far too much use for Steve's liking.

Steve crossed the little motel room as quiet as possible, the magazine still in his hand. He sat on the bed next to Buck and flicked on the lamp that sat on the bedside table. He didn’t mean for Bucky to see the cover page.

“You shouldn’t be reading that,” Bucky mumbled quietly. Steve startles before he traces Bucky's eye line to the image of Steve's face. 

“How are you feeling?” It’s an obvious change of subject.

“You don’t have to put yourself through that,” Bucky continues. 

Steve doesn’t respond. Instead, he just leans over to feel Bucky's forehead. “You still have a fever.” This time it’s not as much of a change of subject than it is plain concern. 

“Steve. Look at me.” Bucky's right hand is shaking as he flips over the magazine. He can’t meet Bucky's eyes, just watches as his image is replaced by that of a politician at a podium. 

“They’re calling it my fall from grace. Tony hasn’t given any comment.” He doesn’t even try to hide the bitter defeat in his voice. 

“Last time you ran away from the government you were saving my ass,” Bucky responded with a trace of humor in his voice.

It’s a knife to Steve's heart. Bucky’s right, the last time he ran from the government he was running towards Bucky. This time he was just dragging him along for the ride. Steve hadn’t spared the man he loved any pain, just caused him more. Steve was the cause of all this. He’d pulled everyone that he knows and cares about into this mess. Clint and Lang and their families didn’t deserve everything that he had caused. Sam was on the run with him and God bless Natasha because she was there too. Wanda was a kid and he’d just thrown more turmoil into her already chaotic life. 

The image of Bucky unconscious on the ground is still fresh in Steve's mind. His metal arm blown off and sparking, a bloody boot print stamped on his face, eyes glassy and pupils dilated. They’d fought so hard and for what? He’d fought for the avengers only for it all to collapse anyway. 

Bucky wasn’t a criminal, Steve knew that with all his heart. Tony had sworn that he’d do everything in his power to keep Bucky out of prison. Tony pushed for a psych ward, Steve wanted an apartment in Brooklyn. Maybe a psych ward would have been better. Tony had all the money one would need and Steve still had to remind himself that the asylums he grew up with are relics of the past. If Steve had agreed then they wouldn’t be in this god awful situation. They wouldn’t be in a dirty motel and Buck could get the treatment that he’d need. It wasn’t just the injuries he sustained in the fight; it was the migraines and nausea and chronic pain that had plagued Bucky from the day he escaped Hydra.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve whispered as tears welled in his eyes. “I should have kept you safe.”

Bucky didn’t respond, just reached a hand out from the mass of blankets and towards Steve's own. Buck squeezed Steve's fingers but Steve still couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“It’ll be ok,” Buck whispered. “Nat came by earlier, gave me some drugs. Made me feel better.” Steve laughed. 

“She give you her fancy stuff?”

“Yeah,” Buck forced a laugh.

“Does it still hurt?” Steve finally made himself look Buck in the face.

“Yeah, but I’ve had worse.”

Steve doesn’t respond for a long time. Instead, he takes off his jacket and shoes and lays down on the bed facing Bucky. They lay like that for a few moments, letting the silence blanket them. “I’m going to get you better, I promise,” Steve vowed. He kissed Bucky's knuckle.

“I believe you,” Buck murmured. There’s no hope in his eyes, just the look of a soldier who has spent too long in a fight. Steve closed the gap between them and wrapped one arm around Buck, careful of the bandages that covered his torso and stump. “Please don’t listen to what they say. Don’t torture yourself like that.” Steve let his chin come to rest on the crown of Bucky's head. 

Steve nods but he knows it’s a lie. Captain America was created for the people, and he has to know what the people say as Captain America is condemned by the nation that he once fought for.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave any grammar mistakes/typos that you see in the comments.


End file.
